the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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