im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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