doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
