her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
It's never too late to be topless.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
