Your tits are I can't wait for
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
