best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
