You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
