Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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