What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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