hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
