if you like me you must not know who I am
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
