Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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