Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Me. At least after what I've been through.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
