Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
i've created a new STD.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
