im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I'm too high and old for this...
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
