just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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