So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
