Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
