how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
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