no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
