I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Randomize
