I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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