College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
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