He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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