Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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