oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Randomize
