Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
