i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
