Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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