hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
