I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
