You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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