I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
