Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
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I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
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Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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