I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Small penises have feelings too.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Randomize