he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Randomize
