i think i have two assholes
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize