I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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