i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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