i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
