I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Randomize
