But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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