He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
how do you play pong handcuffed?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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