I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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