What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
