Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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