I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
