dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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