im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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