True but thats because hes a fetus.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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