I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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