I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
