help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
