Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
