Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
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