If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
