i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
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He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
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