One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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