just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize