Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
