shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
id be glad to
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
