i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Randomize
