Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
PANTIES FOUND
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