It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
