I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
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I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
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These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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