he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Randomize