i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at about main and main street
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
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